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After I flew from Tromsø to Hamburg, I went straight to my apartment. Within 24 hours I had packed my bike, my bags and went from biking everywhere to taking a taxi. For a moment I thought of riding the last bit from Hamburg airport on my bike, but reassembling my bike right outside of Hamburg airport wasn’t a very appealing idea; I would also have to leave a big bike box outside, which would likely be frowned upon, unlike in Norway. It was still early afternoon, and the ride with a jovial taxi driver to my apartment was quick & easy. I didn’t have to figure out a route, I noticed. But what I did notice was the stress of the minutiae that awaits me.
I looked out of my bedroom window; I love the tree right outside. In summer it’s full of leaves and when the wind blows, it rustles. I remembered that I love to keep my window open at night during summer to hear it. First thing I did was air my camping equipment; they were still a little damp, smelly and full of dead bugs; the last time I camped was at Nordkapp. Odd that I didn’t notice all the dirt until then.
When I went to the nearest big-grocery to pick up some groceries, I noticed that I don’t have to limit myself to food-stuff that I think will fit in my bags. I can pretty much buy anything I want. Neither do I have to worry about keeping the food from spoiling. I bought stuff for next breakfast & dinner.
When I woke up the next morning, I wondered for a brief moment which hotel I was at; the room was bigger than the average hotel rooms I have stayed in Tromsø, and it had a bookshelf too! It took me a few a fumbles to make coffee, with the grinder and filter papers. Once I made coffee, it was time for breakfast. I realised I bought crackers that I was eating in Norway for breakfast. I don’t think I remember what I used to eat for breakfast before I left for the bike trip; Muesli maybe.
The reward for this trip is obviously the peace, solitude & sheer humanity of people that I have come across. But that’s not why I did it. I suppose I wilfully ignored why I was doing it. During the trip quite a few people asked me why this route, why Nordkapp, how did the trip came to be. And I never really had a good answer. The simplest answer I could muster was that one of my best friends inspired me with his own trip down Southern Europe. But if I am being completely honest with myself, I also had something to prove to myself. As much as I reiterate that it was merely a trip through Norway, now I am fairly certain I had a lot to prove, I just never talked about it. How hardcore I can be, how much wet & cold I could handle, how streamlined I can be with my camping, how much cycling I can endure; it was about all these and more. And I fell very short of my own imaginary expectations, in retrospect I didn’t go hard enough. So the first thing I did when I finally managed to sit on my couch was to look for another route that I can ride next, maybe a little bit harsher, harder and lonelier, maybe the Swedish wilderness or windy Icelandic roads.
I have become the individual I promised myself I would never become, an endurance junkie, a performance fetishist. I suppose when I started I didn’t want to subscribe to these values, but it’s really difficult not to play the game when one sees the game. It can essentially be an elaborate balancing act between food, sleep and distance. And it’s very appealing!
I think the minimum length of a pilgrimage should be long enough so that one starts to forget bits of their lives before. Travelling very long distances is particularly addictive primarily because of the simplistic video-gamey routines of the day. On the best days, there were no ferry, nothing to figure out, just a road, some place to buy food, some place to sleep & staying dry; so very few things to decide, so few things to worry about. The most “stressful” part of the day was figuring out where which food was in a grocery store. I can see why people never stop. Being on the road, or what hikers call trail life is a beautiful thing, it probably connects one to a long-gone migratory nature of humanity; #migrationcore.
I can’t help but think when I am doing it by choice, for fun, I am fetishising someone’s lack of privileges. Cooking and sleeping on the road for fun while I have a choice of a traditionally comfortable life and it’s moral implication related to the less fortunate; that’s a discussion I would like to have with myself on my next long trip.
For now, it’s time to deal with the our incessantly needy modern lives with apps, emails & organically grown avocados.